C O N F I D E N C E
Something I and probably a lot of you could use some more of.
Starting off with something oh so stupid but oh so effective to me. Believe it or not, but I struggle sooo long with putting something up online. I could stare hours and I swear hours at a photo/post/whatevs before I'm able to put it online. What are people going to think of me? Are they going to think I'm sort of someone I'm not? I can't even explain to you how much precious time I've lost with being so unsure about myself. And now you're probably wondering: Then why on earth, are you doing this to yourself, it's not that it is something that you have to do.
But let me explain to you, it's because I love it, I love to share the things that I like with you. But...There's always that voice in my head, that little evil thing that keeps holding me back, the thing that says "hell no, that's never going to happen." That thing in my mind that starts making bad scenarios out of everything and I'm trying SO HARD to fear it every single day.
My blog was the main aspect that actually helped me through this stage. By doing something that was my biggest anxiety and required so much confidence, I was able to face my fears and boost up my confidence level. Because the part before I launched my blog was probably the worst time ever as I felt much more than under the weather, I felt like I didn't live in some way. After the launch of my blog, I instantly felt more like myself again. There was a weight that fell off my shoulders. I was like, right mate, it's now or never. Thinking about it right now, I'm so thankful that I pushed myself to something that wasn't up my street, that completely fell out of my comfort zone. For me, it's some sort of way to say: hey this is me, this is who I am and this is what I want to do.
However, in Summer I had a kind of social media break-down. I felt like I couldn't do it anymore. The little but big evil voice inside my head came back big time and I think I never felt more self-conscious in my life. My mom was the one that talked me through and told me I had to just be myself and that I shouldn't be scared.
But there are FEARS. Fear for reactions, fear for negativity, fear for failure, fear of loss, fear for love, fear for not being good enough and so on, they are the ones that take over my life and the ones that stop me from doing what I really want to do. But they should NOT. The fear you have is not a part of who you are but it's a part of your life that shouldn't be so influencing.
I know my fears will never 100% disappear. From time to time, when I'm stressed, or when I don't feel particularly good, they are going to flare up and be like: hey human we're here again. But I feel like I became stronger to face them. I feel like I started to care less. Looking back from where I came as a very next level unsure person, to where I am right now, I can say I'm proud of myself. I wasn't someone who did things spontaneously, I was someone who stressed a week beforehand. But now I'm like, alright let's do it because I actually CAN do it. I'm proud I already took advantage, sometimes without even realising.
Yet up until today, I definitely still haven't reached the confidence milestone and that's fine. But I'm glad, I can now finally say, that I'm in the progress of becoming the best version of myself and I think that's way more important.
Something I like to tell myself as well, is to 'stop thinking and start doing', yet I still find that so hard and it's so much easier said than done. Yet you just got to TRY. Every step you take will take advantage and it may be hard work and require a lot of dedication. But in the end, it will all be worth it and remember that, if today isn't your day, you can always try again tomorrow.
So, I want you to do the same as me. Make your dreams become a reality, even if there's a voice inside your head saying that you're not capable of doing it or even when you're dead scared. You live your life for you and not for someone else. Focus on what makes YOU happy and set goals (even if they're really small), to keep your mind on track. You gotta to face the fears and you gotta start living the life you truly want to live.
Also surround yourself with people that love you for you and who support you in every decision you make.
Love yourself, care for yourself, inhale confidence and exhale doubt. ღ
I hope I kind off inspired you in some way and that you're going to start the journey to becoming more confident.
Show who you are and speak up because life is way too short not to.
Peace and love my babes, peace and love.
That reminds me of the "smile and wave boys, smile and wave.", haha.
Glad I could end this post with something to LOL at. ;).
Love,
Mylotte x
